MomBEs PLACE

Gingerbread Houses

2012-01-18T19:40:00.000-06:00

It is probably the last year we will be able to talk them into sharing one house.

But they each took a side

We borrowed the leftovers from Mimi's big gingerbread get together

and off they went

We managed to keep the stomach aches at bay by convincing them that the candy was "old" from Mimi's house. (we aren't that mean, they got to have a few bites here and there)

And they were so proud of their creation.

Made together,

with little bickering,

lots of fun,

and a wonderful picture,

of two proud,

getting to old for this momma, sweet littles.

Dollar Store FUN

2012-01-18T19:23:00.000-06:00

Out third annual trip to the Dollar Store for all of our "guests" was a success!

With each passing year the tag-alongs have become more and more thoughtful in their gift giving!

This year was no different....

From writing their own lists

to what they actually chose to give, their hearts were placed in front of my eyes as they walked through the isles in search of the perfect gift for each recipient.

A few wonderful examples.

For Nonni: a lantern for the next Roaring River trip

Charlie: candles for his store

Chet: an ice scraper because they do not have a garage

Mimi: a cookie sheet to bake gingerbread on for next year's house

Tyler: a light to hook to her book while she reads

My precious and thoughtful babes,

this tradition will continue,

for you are teaching me

the art of giving.

Ritzy snowmen

2012-01-02T18:03:00.000-06:00

Peanut butter filled ritz crackers dunked in chocolate are the best Christmas treat...can I get an AMEN?

So this year we added a little fun to the process of creating them.

Got a package of flat craft sticks, some sprinkles and mini m&ms and we had ourselves a snowman party!

They were as good, if not better, than I remember them as a kid.

And this one we will certainly be adding to our string of Christmas traditions. Such a fun time!

And we even made some nutter butter santas. Cause we're cool like that!

who we are

2011-12-24T14:22:00.000-06:00

It is a rare occasion that I hand over my camera and ask someone to take a picture of the four of us.

Emme had a sweet little school performance the other night and I handed the camera to Nonni. I am so glad I did! This is not for a card or anything, but it is a good representation of who we are right now.

My pastor said at church the other day that we often want to come to church or come to God when we have everything "just right" in our lives. He reminded the congregation that God wants us to do just the opposite. He wants us to remember that He accepts us just the way we are RIGHT now, not "just right" now. That lesson hit home for me. I want to believe that I know that about my God. I think I do.

The problem is that I can't let myself be accepting of the new mother and wife I am, even when I know that God is. I have been and continue to be very hard on myself about what I am accomplishing this year in preparation for Christmas. I feel like I have just been off, the learning curve for working mother is a big one.

I compare myself.......to my last year's self. And dear last year self, you rocked it out girlfriend.

But today, as I slow down after two family Christmases and I look around the house.... I see all the loads of unfolded laundry, half-wrapped presents under the tree, decorations haphazardly laying on the floor, kitchen counters covered in baking preparations, I am beginning to see things clearly.

THIS is who I am right now, who we are right now, and right now will soon be over. So I'm regaining my footing--surveying the scene, and it's grand. I'm burrowing into my family, reflecting on this last year and how far our family has come, feeling grateful and content.

May you all enjoy your RIGHT NOW as we are enjoying ours.

Merry Christmas!

Preparation

2011-12-18T12:45:00.000-06:00

We have been preparing for his arrival for some time now.

It looks different than years passed have looked.

But the effort is being made to make this year special.

We have forgotten to add cotton balls to santa's ever-growing beard,

missed the removal of a few chain links, and pulling ornaments out of our advent calendar has been overlooked a time or two.

But Harry the elf has landed in a new destination each morning, we have gotten the traditional pictures documenting the passing of time and contentment of family.

We are doing it.

I beat myself up a lot being a working mom, worried that I am not giving them the time the need or deserve. Frankly, they are not getting the same me, I am stretched too thin to believe that they are. BUT, they are getting quality time, intentional time. Two parents that are committed to giving them memories and family traditions. And for the moment, that has to be enough.

We decorated the tree and the house on Black Friday and ate OUR Thanksgiving meal the next day. It was a quiet way to begin the holiday season.

The mild Saturday weather took Dad-O out to man the lights while Mommy cooked a small turkey breast, roasted root veggies and cubed potatoes. We ate pecan pie with whiskey maple cream sauce for dessert (dad-o's delight) and we began making our annual christmas cd for friends and family.

We have been preparing for his arrival for some time now.

It looks different than years passed have looked.

But the effort is being made to make this year special.

Our Autumn

2011-11-26T15:28:00.000-06:00

As we continue to adjust to our new life

I find myself being very protective of our time.

When you go from every day all day to three or four awake hours a day with your family

perspective shifts

A LOT

We spent much of our time off of "life"

living life to our fullest

This fall we have done just that

We picked out pumpkins

Drew up our intended outcome

removed the seeds (one-handed of course)

and full body attack (of course)

We carved them up, taking in the fall view of our new little cottage home

posed in front of colorful mums

and in our side yard.

Dad-O went to B's first school halloween party

and MiMi went to E's

and I worked

And the only person who struggled with that was me,

but I am letting go a little bit at a time,

and so very thankful that someone was there for them both,

even if it was not me. (really I AM)

We trick-or-treated only some of whom we wanted,

because after a school day, there just simply is not enough time

to go everywhere we want to go

And we smiled a bit more for the camera.....

But

more than that

the camera stayed hung on it's hook a little more than usual

and we made some memories that will have no snapshots attached to them

we made the most of life

the circus

2011-10-30T06:00:00.000-05:00

Not many people know this about me,

but I bet most people could guess.

I HATE the circus.

It totally freaks me out.

I did not want to go

and I especially did not want to put my kids on an elephant or a camel

or any other wild and stinky animal.

But it made for some good pictures.

Seriously.....could this camel be any more of a poser?

So for the kids sake, I powered through, and tried to see to it that it was not

obvious how uncomfortable I was.

And the kids loved every minute of it,

they have talked about it for days now.

Afterall, we were not going to tell these guys no!

Thanks Uncle Jet and Uncle Charlie!

The kids had a blast at the circus, and it was so cool to watch them enjoy it with you both!

but next time....I think I will take your word for it!

Moms and muffins

2011-10-29T06:00:00.001-05:00

I am one proud momma!

He is such an amazing kid!

A few weeks ago, the class studied the letter M,

and as the invitation stated

what better M is there to celebrate than the M in MOM.

And so was created, "Moms and Muffins" morning at K class.

They sang their songs, introduced us to their friends,

and showed us what a typical morning in K looks like.

I wanted to stay all day.

I am so thankful I was able to attend

even though it was heart-breaking to leave.

We shared a muffin and a glass of milk and he held my hand the whole time I was there.

I still dream he will do that at his 12th grade open house......to lofty?

This is the poem he wrote me,

I hope he can feel how happy he makes me!

maple leaf

2011-10-27T06:00:00.001-05:00

Dad-o had a previous obligation and we were on our own this year at Maple Leaf.

Aunt K was kind enough to invite us to share the festivities with her family

so we hung with K and her littles,

ate her aunt's amazing confections,

and cheered on the bands.

We boogied to the catchy tunes to keep warm.

and snuggled under the blanket in the lulls of the parade

and after a few hours of napping (mom included) we headed to the park with our kc friends c and c.

Dad-O arrived back home just in time for a few drinks and a feast on the front porch with more friends.

A most low-key Maple Leaf in comparison to many before,

but the stories of Maple Leaf past still come to play...every year.

And this year I was ok not to one-up those stories!

school carnival

2011-10-25T06:00:00.001-05:00

my sweet boy is getting older

and a social life is budding

so the school carnival was unavoidable

because there were people to see and places to go

he followed his new found buddies from Kindergarten class to all the bouncy houses

and there were games to play

and he even let his little sister tag-a-long

and we shared pizza with his new friends too

our hidden gem

2011-10-24T06:00:00.001-05:00

Burried in Carthage, back in the woods a bit

behind the "vietnamese"

lives a little oasis

a little miniature botanical garden

we have all to ourselves

with a coy pond full of every shade of orange and yellow a box of crayons has to offer

we ride our bikes the half mile it takes to get there

with bread in hand

and we feed the fish and bask in the sun

our little hidden gem

that feels like, for just a moment, that little has changed in our lives the past year

and it is just us, taking in the world around us

making memories

2011-10-22T13:42:00.000-05:00

This year Nonni and Poppy decided that a vacation meant including the littles in their fun.

An overnight and two days at Roaring River

fishing, cleaning the fish, eating the fish

the whole shebang

Ben was a great helper, as emme kept all the fisherman entertained with singing and dancing.

They got to stay in a camper, eat lots of Nonni's cooking, play with fire (with supervision of course), search for rocks, learn how to play slap-jack, eat smores and drink coke.

What a time.

and Ben is already picking out our campsite for next year

this may have to be an annual event.

A few last hurrahs

2011-10-17T20:31:00.000-05:00

It has been a while, I know

Balancing work life and home life while trying to do both better that average

has proven to be quite difficult for me.

I have been thinking back a lot lately

to the time when I started this blog.

And I reminded that the MAIN reason I started to record our life

was to have it to look back on this blog when I get the time to scrapbook, or even better, to print the blog as a scrapbook.

But....for my kids, for myself, and my husband.

I loved the thought of others reading the blog

and still do!

But I do not want it to be about that so much that I have to edit each picture,

or be grammatically correct or moving with each entry

So, with that said,

a few pictures and words about the last few hurrahs

as a non-working mother

before work truly began

Papa took "the boys" canoeing

Ben and Dad-O loved it

and we both agreed that it is something we hope to do more often

We went to the lake with our good friends, A and B.

And, at first, I did not want to because I felt so overwhelmed at the thought of going with work around the weekend. And, with many of the reasons I call her my friend, Mommy M gave me a piece of her mind about why we should go and enjoy ourselves. And WOW was she right, it was so nice to get away, and be with people we love, and who love us right back. And I find myself thinking back to the serenity of that weekend when I am overwhelmed with what our life looks like now.

And MiMi took us all to KC to shop for uniforms for E and some school clothes for B, and we had a great time in the hotel with their first waterslide. We ate at a dinosaur cafe complete with volcano dessert, and I was reminded why I should never be sad to not be invited on a shopping trip, because I stink at shopping! (thanks Cindy)

Just a few memories.....

More to come

Soccer Season

2011-09-25T08:28:00.000-05:00

Thursday night was the first game of the season for BOTH the littles.

I got a window into our world in the years to come when they are both in extracurricular activities.

Luckily, they played on back to back fields so we got to experience them both having many firsts.

Check Ben out in celebration {maybe drama club is in our future?}

But, let't be honest, we could be sitting in the audience of many theatrical performances from either kidlet......

This year is Ben's second round, and he has improved so much since last year, look at that form!

He still looks at time on the field as 'social hour' but we are working on that.....

Emme was a hoot to watch,

lots of standing around by her,

and directing from Poppy and Dad-O

{love how they are steering her here}

and, of course, soccer games at this age are all about the snacks.......

a tooth fairy tale

2011-09-13T20:13:00.000-05:00

Soon after his fourth birthday and days after his four year pictures

My boy played superhero over an exercise ball and his face met the gym floor

He and Mommy had to take a trip to the dentist and have booth top, front teeth pulled.

He was so brave

The tooth fairy has come back a year later in full force

to make sure she outshines the ladder experience.

Two teeth during school yesterday

and

a third tonight

a hat trick of teeth if you will

For that brave boy a year and a half ago

is a now a much bigger boy

and so proud of himself

Shoulders back, chest puffed up a bit more on his way to bed

And the scared Mommy who took him to the dentist and had to hold him down while they pulled his teeth, go to be the one who pulled his tooth tonight, held the paper towel on the bleed and nuzzled his nose with a whisper of "my brave boy, I am so proud of you"

today

2011-09-05T19:52:00.000-05:00

We have been working now since August 1st

and the kids have been in school since the 18th

and I would be lying if I said it has been an easy transition.

The truth is, I found my calling when I became a mommy

and teaching was not something I had planned on returning to.

But, it is getting easier in some ways.....each day.

And the difficult stuff I am convinced we will power through.

As we always manage to do.

And today, we were a family.

I was a "stay at home mom" again.

I found myself wondering if I was ever grateful enough for the gift I was given of five years home with my kids. Because in the thick of it, the grass is often greener on the other side.

Today, I wondered, "Did I soak them in the way I did today, when I had them everyday all day?"

"Was I as thankful and present in my time with them?"

The answer....

Probably not.

Today, I smelled their skin, held on longer than a normal hug should, and went on spontaneous adventures while Dad-O was gone. Today, I dried her hair as she sat in my lap and studied her sweet curves and folds, aching at the thought of a day she won't need my help with her locks, and struggle to embrace her body in a way that allows for naked blow drying with reckless abandon.

Today, I was there when he got out all his tools and worked on hammering stuff, with such intent that he hammered his left thumb something awful, and I was there to nurse his wound, and praise him for being such a big boy. Today we read book after book, played chutes and ladders and hi ho cherry o too many times to count.

Today, I felt it. I was grateful for my time with them. I drank it in.

Milkshakes

2011-08-23T19:08:00.000-05:00

After

Two attempts at making ice cream

churning, churning, churning, churning,

and still liquid

we settled for

milkshakes!

PLAN B

2011-08-21T18:49:00.001-05:00

We have learned with two toddlers

always have plan B

So when we set out to make homemade ice cream

I should have known better.

I should have known to have a quart waiting in the freezer

But....I didn't

So, an after bed-time trip to the store

led to this scene.

We are trying again tonight, as I type.

The motor from a borrowed ice cream maker churns

and we shall see if it EVER stops.

The good news.....

two bowls of ice cream in ONE weekend!!!

PEACE

2011-08-19T18:59:00.000-05:00

Up until the night before Open House,

we had B signed up for K in two different schools.

It is a long story about the WHYS of it all

and we went back and forth weighing the variables

fixating on the little and big

and then.....

......PEACE....

a decision was made

and it was made for the good of our son,

and our family.

We chose the BEST teacher.

The one who will love him for more awake hours than we will have a chance to.

The one who babysat the Dad-O when he was little,

and made play-doh that could be eaten.

The one who sent us 5 pictures (these) the first day of school to help calm any nerves we may have.

And I could not be happier with the decision

So, we may not have sent him to the school that seemed the obvious choice

(location and tradition)

but, we chose the best place for our boy

and I already know,

after just two days,

without a doubt,

we made the right decision.

First Day of School

2011-08-18T20:47:00.002-05:00

I used to be little, but not anymore

Today I got up and walked out the door

I went to school, it was my first day, you see

{candlelight breakfast made by Dad-O}

{Mommy reading "The Kissing Hand}

{B with his new K teacher Ms. McW}

{checking out the coolest pencil sharpener...EVER}

It's great to be big, I'm so glad that I'm me!

A conversation

2011-08-09T08:49:00.000-05:00

MOM:

"Ben and Emme, what happens to people when they die?"

BE:

"They go to heaven to be with Jesus"

MOM:

"That's right, who else do they see"

"All the people who died before them"

MOM

"Guess who got to go see Jesus and all the people they love that are already in heaven?

"Nana"

"But I didn't give her the walking stick I made?"

MOM

"You know what is so cool, she doesn't need one anymore. She can walk and run and play tennis and golf now"

"Does she bleed in heaven?"

MOM

"No, and she doesn't feel any pain anymore"

"What about when she falls?"

MOM

"No, no pain and no falling anymore"

"Why is Dad-O crying?"

MOM:

"Because we are sad that we don't get to see her anymore"

{cue Emme crawling onto Dad-O's lap to stroke his neck}

Dad-O:

"Because Nana was my Mimi"

"Is everyone sad?

MOM:

"Yes, you will probably see Papa and MiMi cry too. Nana was Papa's Mommy. But we are happy that Nana gets to be with Parker, her husband. Ben, you probably don't remember him, he went to heaven when you were very little."

Is that where my middle name came from?"

MOM:

"Yes, baby"

"Are they sad like when I broke my flip flop last night?"

MOM:

"It's a different kind of sad, but yes, they will be crying"

BE:

Can we talk to Nana again?

MOM:

"Yes, just like when you talk to Jesus. It's just like praying. You can talk to her anytime you want. She will listen but she won't talk back to you."

BE:

"Like talking on the telephone?

MOM:

"Yes, but you won't hear her voice talking back"

BE:

"Will Nana come back as a little kid?"

MOM:

"I don't believe that she will, but some people believe that. I believe she will stay in heaven. But, when you get older, you can decide what you believe."

"I'm not sad that she died"

MOM:

Why aren't you sad?

"Because I am happy she is heaven"

Basketball Camp

2011-08-05T07:50:00.000-05:00

As we approach Kindergarten, I find myself asking the same two questions

Where did the time go?

and

When did he get so big?

The latter question went through my mind the entire

time I took these shots

BBall camp with Coach Ray

8-9am for one week at the Y

We are inching in to the bigger stuff I guess?

But I feel it would be great if that was always the only summer commitment we had to sports.

He seemed to like it a lot, and in one week's time, he grew a tremendous amount

with his Bball skill set

and maybe an inch two as well?

Swim Lessons

2011-08-03T07:54:00.000-05:00

The littles had a two week boot camp o' swimming lessons

given by one of my closest friends

She is amazing, and I would say that even if I only knew her from her teacher reputation.

This summer was a changing summer for us all in reference to the concrete hole full of chlorinated water.

Ben started the summer sitting on the side of the pool stating in his planner attitude

"I'd rather not swim today"

He got it in his craw that he would not be swimming until he had his first lesson with Miss A

Luckily for me, teach is a good friend, so we scheduled a water intervention

....at 8pm

....the night before she went to Mexico for a week

....while she had another family living with her after the tornado

'cause she is awesome like that.

And in less than 30 minutes

after telling me "not to get my hopes up"

the boy grew fins

as I knew he would , in her hands

'cause she is awesome like that

And the munchkin started and finished the summer like a champ

jumped in like she's been doing it her whole life

you'd think homegirl swam out of the womb...

She definitely gets it from her father.

It has been a great summer of swimming, and the fun is not over....

and to those of you wondering if you will ever get a break with your smalls swimming,

I actually sat by the pool and watched from the shade several visits to the pool....

Never thought that would happen after last summer with two wet and slippery bodies hanging off me every time we were in the water.

But I let those wet and slipperies hang off me still....

'cause I'm awesome like that.

The Fourth

2011-08-02T21:38:00.000-05:00

Oh! What a night it was!

Em decided quickly that the pink smoke was just about all she was interested in, and after the "45 seconds of pink smoke" firework, she went inside and left it to the boys.

Ben was a pro, and Dad-O and Papa were so very pleased to watch him work the punk

He learned from the frog spitting fire that staying back was a good idea

even after all the warnings from Mimi and the gang....

so our boy ended up observing from behind the porch posts

and I think the pitter patter of his excited heart would tell you

that was just fine with him.

Dad-O Birthday

2011-08-02T06:00:00.001-05:00

It was a month ago today.

But what a month it has been.

This blog is to document our lives, so I want to continue to do that.

Even it if it does not happen on a daily basis,

even if it isn't always a clear picture of what is happening right now.

Even if it means writing about it a month later.

They each took 5 dollars to the dollar store to choose gifts for him

they were so proud of their choices

and my commitment was that I would not sway their decision in any way.

Emme: popcorn bowl for movie night

shelf liner (?)

a card with a cupcake on it

mustard for sandwich night

can't remember #5, but that is real life

Ben: a dad-o pop coozie

a grill brush

a new glass for his water

a hat to wear while mowing the lawn

a happy face ballon

Dad-O was so fun to watch open the gifts, making a great deal out of each one, producing proud smiles from each little. What a great man!

Happy birthday love

All we do......

2011-07-09T07:41:00.000-05:00

Thankfully......

the grandparents have a pool

because it is all we are doing this summer.

The kids are still unaware that there has to be much entertainment beyond the chlorine.

Many changes this summer, some coming in the next few weeks

but one constant in our lives....

shriveled hands.

losing the battle {for the moment}

2011-07-06T22:39:00.000-05:00

My computer and I are having a pretty big fight at the moment

{it is winning}

but we continue summering along

trying new things

filling our days with happiness

and togetherness

BIG things are on the horizon

very soon our new normal begins

hopefully that involves a more cooperative computer on my side

{and she will let me tell you about it}

summering

2011-07-01T06:00:00.000-05:00

park one

park two

park three

park four

we continue to check off the summer list with the park tour

{a special treat, getting to check it off with the E family!}

Norman Rockewell

2011-06-30T21:41:00.000-05:00

Sometimes living in Carthage feels like you are, quite literally, in the middle of a Norman Rockwell painting.

Most of the time, that is a great thing. Although, one must remember, that if you are, in fact, IN a NR painting, then all can see your business anytime they choose to open the book with the collection of paintings in it, or walk by that painting on the wall and notice all the details and form an opinion about whether it is or is not painted beautifully.......if you get my drift.

But tonight

all the little bits of Norman fell together and painted a lovely picture of life.

Tonight was the fourth of july parade.

From wagons to mountain bikes

They were all decked out in stars and stripes

A trip to the dollar store for decorations

and B and E's trainers fit right in...

See that golf cart dressed in red, white and blue in the front of the pack? In it sits the GM of the parade, Mrs. Rosenthal.

She was Dad-O's kindergarten teacher, then the first principal he ever worked for, in the same building great grandpa went to school, where B will go to Kindergarten this fall and E the next! Oh, yes, you read that correctly.

And these neighborhood mommies know what they are doing. They have been perfecting this parade for years. Patriotic cookies, lemonade, treat bags to take home, popsicles, they have thought of everything.

I look forward to becoming one of the mommy contributors as B and E get older. Right now we are guests, and I am thankful to be included, but I hope to help these women someday, and become a mommy like they are. Ya know, the types whose home is where everyone wants to end up after school and on Friday nights.

Nothing completes a fourth of July parade like a good batch of fireworks.

tonight was our 4 dollar batch

Complete with snappers, poppers, smoke bombs and 2 punks.

every ounce of her went into snapping those snappers I'll tell ya....

......and they danced in the rainbow of smoke

until the heat finally forced them into submission

and it was good

Norman Rockwell good.

ballerina

2011-06-30T16:56:00.000-05:00

She has had two lessons

and once I get passed the nostalgia that takes me to my time at the dance studio,

I struggle with wrapping my brain around the fact that my little girl is big enough to be in ballet class.

In typical E fashion, the statement of her outfit and the stamp on her hand a the end of the lesson makes Wednesday a red letter day for sure.

But I just can't believe this is my baby....

The pale pink leotard and tights against her buttery soft skin is quite a sight.

My stomach lurches when I see those sweet blonde hairs against her sun-kissed skin, considering the life she has ahead of her, and the grace in which I pray she can take it on. She is so innocent and sees the world with such joy, I am constantly on my knees, asking for guidance to help her to keep that zest for life.

Oh, sweet girl, how I love and adore who you are and who you will become. If the arsenal of "who you are" includes ballerina I will love and support you with each passing day, and I will always be moved by that pale pink leotard on your buttery soft, sun-kissed skin. With blonde whisps swept off your neck but tickling your temples, and the bulk of your hair in a sideways bun clinging on for dear life on the back of your head.

Are you Watching?

2011-06-19T15:33:00.000-05:00

Dear Ben,

Are you watching him?

When he turns off the television and reads you a book.

When he laughs his silly laugh as if no one else in the world can hear him.

Are you watching him?

When he is loyal to his closest friends, and willing to do what he can for them.

When he thanks Mommy for every meal and all she does.

Are you watching him?

When he respects his parents and in-laws and elders.

When he coaches you in sports.

When he reads you Bible stories and takes us all to church.

Are you watching him?

When he is o.k. with crying when he is moved.

When he lets you help him make breakfast, even if he is in a hurry.

When he does the dishes and cleans your rooms.

Are you watching him?

When he helps you learn new things with so much patience and love.

When he hangs out with you and lets Mommy have time for herself.

Are you watching him?

When he takes care of your sister and tells her how loved she is.

And when he expects the same from you.

Are you watching him?

When he throws you on his back or shoulders, even when he is tired.

When he wrestles with you and plays with you, even when the game is on.

Are you watching him?

Play dolls and dress-up and girly stuff with your sister.

Are you watching him?

When he is a part of most of our family time and adventures.

Are you watching him?

When he doesn't take himself too seriously.

Are you watching him?

When he tells you elaborate good night stories every night he is home to put you to bed.

{which is almost all of them}

Are you watching him?

When he does not wear his emotions on his sleeves and keeps a level head.

Are you watching him?

When he flirts with Mommy, even when they have been married for 11 years.

Are you watching him?

Be the Dad I can only hope you become for your children

{With YOUR own twist of course.}

Are you watching him?

a count

2011-06-11T06:00:00.000-05:00

11 years

5,785,436 minutes

132 months

3 states

3 countries

12 addresses

3 mortgages

7 rentals

2 live-ins

100 coats of paint

10 cars

2 dogs

2 births

1 loss

9 employers

1 bachelor's degree

2 masters degrees

1 specialists degree

3 churches

countless friendships

4 cameras

1 kitchen aid mixer

3 grills

2 fences

1 set of never used china

1 bathroom remodel

6 bikes
4 drills

12 stitches

5 fork in the road decisions

NO REGRETS

10,000 tears

one million laughs

2 precious children

ONE LOVE OF MY LIFE

Farmer's Market & Praying Hands

2011-06-10T17:46:00.000-05:00

We have been to the Farmer's Market and Praying Hands many times

but on our way there with Dad-O this am he informed me

it was his first visit with us.

Reminding me again of the blessing it has been for me to stay home these last five years.

I have been so fortunate to get these experiences with my babes

and now fortunate enough to have time to share them with Dad-O

We climbed on the hands

and posed for pics

{B reminded me to grab my camera on the way out}

We walked the tracks to the market, where we shared a loaf

of asiago bread and a fruit smoothie for lunch

and we took turns performing for each other on stage

E sang "Twinkle Twinkle" and "ABCD's"

Dad-O did the "shake your booty dance"

B sand Peanut Butter and Jelly (a family favorite)

and Mommy sang hits from the sound of music {glee style, according to Dad-O}

TWO CHECKMARKS DOWN

GREAT DAY HAD

HERE WE GO!

2011-06-08T12:34:00.002-05:00

A Progression

2011-06-07T09:06:00.000-05:00

6 weeks

6 months

ONE year

TWO

THREE

FOUR YEARS OLD

2011-06-02T06:00:00.000-05:00

If you have not discovered Pinterest

you should check it out

just be warned

it is highly addictive

so don't be mad at me if you find yourself

sitting at your computer an hour later

wondering where the time went

check out my pinterest button if you have a minute

My son loves looking over my shoulder at all the awesome pictures

of creative things to do

It is full of awesome things to do with your kids, decorating and organizing ideas, recipes

clothing options, to name a few.....

Ben discovered lego cakes and has been insisting we make them for weeks now

so we made chocolate legos for dessert the other night

and boy were they tasty

and pretty cute too!!

Happy Pinning!

Birthday Traditions

2011-06-01T06:00:00.001-05:00

Emerging with sleepy eyes

and sucking her thumb

wooby in hand

She was surrounded by pink, pink, and more pink ballons

her other three greeted her with hugs and "happy birthday"

and soon she was dancing in a sea of pink balls

throwing them over her head and smiling up as they floated past her sweet smile to the floor

After her requested real meal of bacon and "Emme Eggs"

she got her first song of the day

accompanied by a chocolate donut tower

with four mis-matched candles from birthdays passed

She listened patiently as we sang her the first of many birthday wishes of the day

Dressed in her tattered Belle costume

and braided hair laying on her left cheek

my four year old girl carefully chose her four donuts she would

nibble as songs from "Annie" played on Pandora in the background

and before eating them she had to make a joke

to be absolutely sure she was the one we were all paying attention to

....and laughing at

brother gave her the gift he had chosen for her and wrapped with such precision and care

And she gave her very best,drama-filled, screeching voice, enthusiastic, ALL EMME response.

The PARTY

2011-05-31T20:26:00.000-05:00

We had her party on Sunday, May 22

from 2-4

at the "purple park" in Joplin.

It was a beautiful day.

And I had no idea what the evening would bring.

but I will write about the joy of that day.

She was so proud to hold her thumb down and extent those four fingers.

Our baby girl.

She is a fan or Strawberry Shortcake

Her cupcake tower donned red, green and of course, pink sweet treats

with a few little figurines

and four pink candles

The green and red cupcakes weren't exactly the shade I asked for

but everyone had a great time making a mess with the icing

ben and cousin A

Gpa Mickey

Poppy

It was windy and nearly impossible to light the candles

but Dad-O got it done.

We sang "happy birthday to you"

and then she blew

She opened her gifts

and with each tear of the paper she put on a show

proudly posing with each gift and thanking her guests profusely for her "favorite fring in da ho wide wurld"

She worked the crowd of friends that came to help her celebrate her day

being sure to make everyone feel appreciated for their attendance.

My sweet girl's FOURTH birthday party!

small

2011-05-24T00:11:00.002-05:00

This is the sanctuary my family worshipped in on Sunday morning

Where my son graduated from pre-school last Thursday evening

Where my kids stood on stage for Christmas programs

This is the place that has helped our kids to attend school

during this unsettling last six months our lives.

Our church home

My sweet babies' school

a place where we seek solace on Sunday morning

a place that welcomed us with open arms when we moved back

where we saw so many smiling faces pass us by in the halls

Now the halls are open air

church family is unaccounted for

My son wants to know where "C" is who he knows lives three houses from the school where, as far as we know, is leveled

Last night, as we watched Strawberry Shortcake and

played with Em's new birthday toys in the basement

We had no idea that the world outside our window was forever changing

This will be the "where were you?" moment for the rest of my life as well and my children's lives.

But lives we have to continue, stories we have to tell.

Not all are so blessed.

We already know a few that left this life yesterday

and many who lost everything

And tonight I feel so helpless

so small

but I am reminded

that even though I feel small

as long as I am doing something, even if it is small

all can get through this.

I am reminded of this by my "smalls"

Wanting to donate his favorite legos to a friend's son

asking "Is one set enough?" concerned for him to only have one toy.

And my girl asking if he has sisters that need toys, offering a basket of toys {including a few from her birthday party yesterday}

And my sweet boy with the biggest heart showing Dad-o that he knows how to help rebuild, illustrating by ripping up a package from a toy and taping it back together.

So we will follow our small's lead

and we will do small things for all we can.

We are praying for all tonight

God be with you and yours.

graduation

2011-05-20T13:47:00.001-05:00

Looking back

I get a lump in my throat

that is impossible to swallow.

So I will write about tonight

and not dwell too long on the thoughts of baby Ben....

sweet baby Ben.

Tonight was a milestone evening

five years

and just like that

B graduated from Pre-school this evening

he goes to Kindergarten in the fall

Baby Ben goes to Kindergarten.....

sweet baby Ben

We all wore our Sunday best

B sported a tie for the first time

He walked into my bedroom after Dad-O helped him get dressed

and I could not believe how old he looked

My baby Boy

He danced his little heart out

sang at the top of his lungs

we were so proud

of our

sweet baby boy

he walked on stage with his brown leather shoe untied

smirked at the crowd while Miss Collisha tied it back up

and proclaimed

"A CONDUCTOR"

after receiving his medal and being asked

"what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Our baby boy gave his unique answer to the crowd

sharing his thoughts on his future

not mocking what others said

proving to us

yet again

he is one in a million

our baby boy

and our little miss joined him

cheering him on from the audience

responding so preciously and patiently to

"it's B's night tonight, yours will come"

And it was his night

our baby boy's night

Happy Graduation Baby Boy Benjamin

summer splash

2011-05-18T19:43:00.000-05:00

In this house, we are looking forward to more days like this ONE day we had a few weeks ago. WHERE is the warm weather???

A lot is going on nowadays in this family of four, and tonight I do not much feel like writing about it,

but just wanted to say, we are still around,

and still hopeful

that life will feel "normal" again soon.

And part of our "normal" will be

SUMMER!

Pinkalicious

2011-05-07T11:46:00.000-05:00

On their way to the Pinkalicious party! I have no idea what that means, but I'm sure I will know ALL about it when they return!

Thanks MiMi for the invite, the lovely outfit, and the precious time with my cousin!!!

soccer vol. 2

2011-04-30T09:42:00.000-05:00

These are a few favorites from the first soccer game.

I love the miniature version of shin guards and found myself wondering if mine started that small?

It was a process to get them on and I loved that his Dad-O was there to help.

I am amazed at the similarities between them,

and sometimes I capture it on film.

It was a bit cold on the field, I will have to pack a better bag for the sidelines next time.

{note to self: bring blanket, jackets for all and kleenex for runny noses}

B did a great job for his first time. He stood around a lot and we had to ask him multiple times to remove his hands from his mouth, but he got a few good kicks in and worked really hard. We look forward to watching the progression....

soccer

2011-04-28T21:34:00.001-05:00

He had his first game tonight.

Dad-O was the coach.

Grandparents came and little sister and Mommy cheered him on.

I am so proud of my boy.

He was not sure what to do tonight.

He stood around at times,

tried to strike up conversation with teammates as the ball flew by,

and kicked the ball the wrong way here and there.

BUT,

our boy plays with heart.

And it may take him a while to figure it all out

but he will learn

and as we have seen, he will learn quickly

he will do it with a good attitude

and he will keep at it.

I am so proud of our boy

a tradition

2011-04-27T17:38:00.001-05:00

Last year we began a simple, yet meaningful tradition

{afterall, that's is what a tradition is in our house...simple and meaningful}

I found these great little wooden eggs

the kids pick their 3 (at the moment) favorite colors

paint them

and I write their name and the date on the bottom

Our wooden egg basket is quickly filling up

and we can see the progression in our sweet artists

What a fun thing to look back on!

country folk

2011-04-27T07:06:00.000-05:00

I admit, this kinda grosses me out

But, Dad-O says it's just rain water

and they love it

One and only blessing in the basement flooding.....

Country folk's version of a fire hydrant.

dye

2011-04-26T21:39:00.000-05:00

We did not plan so well for dyeing eggs this Easter.

The sun came out briefly on Good Friday so we quick ran outside.

B still in his pj shirt and Dad-O still in his white undershirt

{yes, that is exactly why he is not pictured.......I promised}

The kids barley made it down the front stairs and declared

"lets do it here!"

so we obliged

The sun was out in full force

so their sweet eyes disappeared as they smiled.

But it would not be real life if I only posted the perfect pics, now would it?

We dyed 12 eggs, 6 for each kid

But our mad scientists were not done once the eggs were gleaming with color

The combining of liquids began

They filled and re-filled the egg shaped cups with every combination of colored fluid.

It was a wonderful, sunny, fun-filled, 10 minutes on Good Friday!

Night Night.....

2011-04-15T16:59:00.000-05:00

I took this picture about this time last spring.

It was right about the time we were springing into the time change and it was still light in Em's room when we put her to bed. I loved the way the light came through the pink curtains and softened her already buttery soft skin. It is not the most crisp photograph, but it moves me.

She moves me.

Our evenings these day consist of Dad-O and I trading the baton in the hallway, and saying our own little goodnight to each of the kids individually. I sing the dream song to Ben to insure no bad dreams get into his room, and to both of them I sing a song of their choice. These days they like Bicycle Built for Two, which they call "Daisy" and Eugene Field's Wynken Blynken and Nod. Ben often chooses a Christmas song, displaying his ever-loving need for all things Saint Nick and Winter in general.

Dad-O's goodnight is a story and a prayer. The story, which started years ago, includes King Benjamin and Princess Emme and characters like Larry the Llama and Kyle the Kite Maker, in which they go to islands made of ice cream and such. Dad-O is an amazing story teller.

Lately the cherubs have started praying on their own instead of following Dad-O's lead. Sam often comes out and shares little bits of what they say in their prayer. Which leads me to why I post this particular picture and story.

This picture is one that will stay glued in my mind as what my baby girl looked like when I put her to bed.

This quote will be one I remember about some of her first prayers she prayed on her own.

"God, thank you for

if your heart breaks it is alright...

if you love everyone in your class it is alright.

If you get captured....

Well,

you need your Mommy."

Emme 3 years 11 months

To Know HIM......

2011-04-14T15:58:00.000-05:00

This has been a hard week.

The world lost an amazing man and heaven gained an angel.

The "silver fox"in the back of this picture

lost his life on Monday.

All too soon he left this world.

He was 57.

He was a patriarch.

He was my best friend's dad.

Richard was a man who gave truth to the statement

"to know him is to love him"

And really, his family gives truth to that statement.

I loved her dad and love her mom.

I am so thankful to know them all and to have known him.

He and Carrie were a set of parents that I hope to be like, had a love that I pray I know, and have a daughter that I am more thankful for than words could ever express.

He had little to say when I was around, often quiet and taking it in I imagine. But, when he spoke, I listened, because I knew what left his lips would be wise, and it always was.

I am sure while he was here that he knew

without a doubt that he had the

chance to know REAL LOVE, being married to his high school sweetheart, driving home to her to have lunch everyday, sharing so much of his life with his biggest fan.

And I am certain while he was here, he knew he had raised two amazing children who

made incredible choices in their mates and had begun to carry on the tradition of family in their own lives.

So what I pray for today is that he is up there looking to them all and has some sense of comfort seeing them all together. I have had time with them all these past few days, sitting on the edge of their world...looking in.

And Richard is still here, ever-present in all they are doing.

He has left a legacy, one that began the moment he left this earth.

They are still a family, leaning on each other, loving each other,

and doing everything to lift him up. They will be alright. They will, of course, never be the same.

But, he will always be with them.

And many more,through knowing his amazing family, will know him.

And love him.

Cycling

2011-04-10T16:30:00.000-05:00

How we spent most of the day today.....

Got a big kick out of B's riding attire

the end

we will see.........

2011-04-05T20:56:00.001-05:00

look at this girl

she is happy

she smiles, she laughs

she sings, she plays

she is content

she loves her life

her family

her day to day

and that is

just the way we like it

she has an amazing imagination

asks great questions

has an expansive vocabulary

she is quick to hug

and love

she loves books

and dress up

and getting dirty

and

she has no idea

what her parents are going through right now

and by the time she figures it out

WE will have figured it out

and moved on

and become better people for it

stronger

happier

more reliant on our precious four

for peace and patience

and

LOVE

and we will see........

If she ever knows

anything more

than what she feels

right

now

---------------

CONTENT

{even with her shoes on the wrong feet}

in my circle?

2011-04-04T08:56:00.001-05:00

I often tell the kids there is someone "in" my circle on the camera to get them to look at me.

They have started with these elaborate stories about the characters in my circle.

"Look, Mommy, Spiderman is jumping out of your circle and onto your head!"

Now, the trick doesn't work so well with my seasoned models.

But, every so often it produces a precious face like this one.

Isn't he yummy!

The space between

2011-04-01T06:00:00.006-05:00

I remember making time lines in Elementary School. My teacher would give us this long ticker tape, the kind of paper that could make its way through an old fashioned adding machine {I will still argue makes one of the coolest sounds...ever} The class would all be given a list of dates, some really important stuff that happened on those dates, and we would have to sort through them and place them in order on our ticker tape.

My confusion always came when I had to decide with which date I should begin and end on my timeline, so not to have all my dates jumbled up in one spot or spread too far apart that I would have not enough room. Once I got that sorted, the dates would easily fall into their proper place. My number 2 pencil would find it's way to the paper to make my first of many stick figure's torso, I would write my important event in my invisible bubbled frame hovering above where Mr. Stick's head should be and I was finished.

Our ticker tape for the past several months now has had a lot of white space in between torsos. A few significant dates have passed. Birthdays, anniversaries, first and last days, and milestones reached.

But, how I am filling the space between these dates is where my confusion comes in again. It's like I want time to move as fast as possible but slower than ever all at once. I used to think our life was "boring" but in the best definition of the word. We just did not have drama. Sure, the occasional spat, debate about staying home vs. going back to work. Choices with money always brought some drama, but little regret. I find myself wishing for that life again. And because I cannot have that wish come true, I fill the space with emptiness. Mindless television, unproductive computer surfing, eating......

It's that space between, in the past, I always felt pretty good about filling. Now I find myself wishing it would just, well, get to the next Mr. Stick.

But this man, he knows how to fill the space.............

On many occasions I have accused my husband of being a Pollyanna through this experience, and you know what? He has been. I am beginning to understand why......and loving him for it. He is filling this space with exactly what the space represents......TIME.

He looks at this time as a chance to do what very few men ever get to do. Spend "stay-at-home-mom" kind of time with our children. And he genuinely sees the blessing in that.

I could stand to take note from the man I love.

Because man oh man, can he fill some space!

Stay With US.......

2011-03-30T19:18:00.001-05:00

I have had a hard time blogging lately.

I wish I could say it is because I am so busy I just have not had the time.....

But I do.

I thought I could hop on here and say that life is so good, I have more important things to do....

But I really don't

I wish I could say that life has gotten in the way

but it really has not....

Life feels like it is standing still

we are in so many ways....

Waiting.....

Waiting for Summer to pass....

Waiting for the leaves to change again.....

Waiting for Winter to be here....

Waiting for forward momentum....

Waiting for another new year.

Because, if I am being honest, this year has been hard

and I am ready for it to be a memory.

Things did not work out according to our plan in STL.

We are back here,

living off family,

searching for jobs,

picking up the pieces,

trying to smile and push through

and it is hard.

I have been through what feels like every negative emotion

anger

fear

resentment

bitterness

envy

wishing bad thoughts toward people I once respected

and I am not proud of that.

But I am growing

and I am finding peace

though pieces of understanding

I have mourned the loss of "what might have been"

I am thankful for what we have

and I am praying for those I once felt fury.

I have found a peace.

But it is hard.

Out of nowhere I will get so angry

at certain things

certain people

nothing in particular

and I have to make a decision

right then and there

Am I going to let this consume me?

My answer is NO!

I won't do that

to my husband

to my kids

my family

I won't do that to myself

I won't do that with this life

I will pray.....

for peace

patience

my marriage

my baby boy and girl

I will ask for guidance

I will fall again, but always

one less time than I get back up

And this family

this little blog full of

stories

memories

snapshots

will continue

Perfecting the art of making

everyday "nothing" into

something extraordinary

in our home.

drinkin in life......

2011-03-21T13:16:00.000-05:00

Life isn't always easy. Some things you choose, some things you don’t, but it stirs together, and you drink it. And if it doesn’t taste quite right, you set to work in your kitchen adding, subtracting, perfecting that recipe until it’s the best damn drink you’ve ever tasted. The perfect cocktail. And Dude, we know how to make a good martini.

friends

2011-03-16T20:22:00.000-05:00

There are moments

at a glimpse

I see the end to

them being siblings

and the beginning

of an

amazing

friendship

Show me a SMILE

2011-03-09T17:39:00.000-06:00

We went to the Dentist on Tuesday. It was our first cleaning with both the kids. {gulp}

I know, I thought I had it together too? But we put this one off for way too long!!!!

No excuses.....

BUT

financially

after this incident

and this one

it was just a little

MUCH

to take on for a while there...

So, we finally did it!

Mommy went first, hoping to decrease any anxiety by letting them see that I wasn't crying.

I decided B would go next, just in case we had some trouble,

and the boy was a champ leading up to getting in the chair

we had discussed the visit for a few days leading up,

and he walked tall as we entered,

was even excited to put on the cool shades to protect him from

"Mr. Sunshine"

and then

the chair went back.....

all bets were off

the boy freaked out!!

And it was clear that he had lost it, and was not getting it back

at least not for a while...

So, on to PUNKY

I told B we could take a break but that he would have to try again after E

he agreed....

and, of course

Guess who bounced into the seat with smiles abound

mouth wide open

shades on

and willing to hold "Mr. Thirsty" with no hesitation

THAT'S OUR GIRL!

B was more willing the second time around

especially with cookie dough toothpaste

{seriously? my back teeth are sweating...}

Whatever it takes!

HE did it, and licked his lips frantically after every tooth was "tickled" and "counted"

I guess it tasted good?

What a sight to see though

both my brave little souls

growing up

facing a fear

and conquering it

I am one proud momma!

CANT Break the RULES

2011-03-07T20:03:00.000-06:00

I LOVE this little boy so much!

He is such a RULE FOLLOWER that

when he tries to tell the

"interrupting cow" joke

he simply can't interrupt me!

I have not laughed so hard in MONTHS!

A few more favs from the "ball"

2011-03-01T20:38:00.000-06:00

A sweet kiss from Dad-o to daughter.....

Precious cousins, holding hands........

My favorite three..............

The BALL

2011-02-26T21:52:00.002-06:00

Tonight we had a princess on our hands...

Mimi took her for her dress and all the fixins last week

and today she had her mani/pedi

Papa ordered the corsage

and our girl

was ready for her first "ball"

The build up was heart thumping

dimple bursting out

crazy exciting

And that precious content smile that only the Dad-O can produce

melted my soul

I know this will be one of the few dances she attends

that I won't be filled with anxiety

because this time she had an escort

that is just as concerned with her happiness and well being

as I am

A Progression

2011-02-26T10:42:00.001-06:00

one week

6 months

one year

two years

three

four

FIVE

THE PARTY

2011-02-25T06:00:00.004-06:00

This year...{not on purpose}

I took very little photographs of B's actual party

we were all just having too much fun to

stop and capture much

so here is a little peek

Thanks so much to all of our "village" for coming

The cupcake tower

2011-02-24T06:00:00.000-06:00

In place of a traditional cake, this year we had cupcakes to welcome the fifth year.

MiMi got these great cupcake holders and flags for our young Padawan. The Storm Trooper flagged vanilla cupcakes and Darth Vader flagged chocolate cupcakes.

Aunt K made this amazing buttercream frosting that Mommy frosted the cupcakes with too early. But, they tasted great and they were still pretty cool.

My {one} picture with the birthday boy!

Ben was very excited about his cool blue Star Wars cupcakes

And he looked WAY too old blowing that "5" candle out!!!

The BIG Gift

2011-02-23T06:00:00.002-06:00

He may be five

and the box says you must be seven

but our precious little rule follower was more than willing to break the rules on this one

Lego ENDOR

it will take hours on end to put this together with the help of Dad-O {and Mommy?}

and we have probably already lost many of the small pieces that belong to this ewok village

but THAT smile makes the investment of money on the front end

and time on the back end

worth every

single

bit.

Sibling Giving

2011-02-22T06:00:00.000-06:00

So proud of my sweet baby girl

who was beyond excited to give B his gift

she helped me choose the gift

we wrapped it together

she kept it a secret for almost two weeks

and as she handed it to B

she exclaimed

"its a yoda lunchbox with SW pjs inside!!!"

she was so close to keeping it a secret until he opened it

but even the give away of the secret

could not have taken from the sweet exchange between

brother and sister

Oh how I love these two

and how they love each other

Birthday Traditions

2011-02-21T10:33:00.000-06:00

Two simple traditions we have in our home for birthdays

You can never blow out candles too many times on your birthday

So we begin the day with a donut cake and a happy birthday song from our family of four

And one must open the bedroom door when they wake

to countless balloons

to pop

and throw

and play catch with

and flick at your sister

until they are exhausted and deflated

a very good start to the day indeed

Happy Birthday My Sweet BOY!

2011-02-15T07:59:00.001-06:00

Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart

I can't believe you are FIVE today!!

I love you with everything I am

and simply cannot wait to see what you

will do with this life.

You will always be

this precious little bundle to me.